My parents will never have grandchildren.
At the beach, my brother points out the families with children and says, “Don’t the parents look miserable?” He thinks everyone should have a personal one-child policy. Children, he says, are instruments of destruction like little landmines. You have kids, and boom – there goes your money. Boom, your social life stops glittering. Boom, your nice body goes soft in the wrong places. Basically, he says, have kids and you can say goodbye to everything you love. You’ll become a sort of zombie driven by drunk, sloppy instinct. He thinks that new parents pretend to be happy because they’re too proud to admit that they’ve made a terrible mistake.
I am not as cynical. I’m also not as verbal, so I can’t describe as strongly why I don’t want children. I don’t think about children, but I feel them as weights pulling me down. Like that man in the photo – he could float into space like the men in Magritte:
But these sandbags, these little bureaucrats tether him to a dull everydayness. He has to wear that suit so he can make money to buy the girl’s little Mary Janes. He has to wear the scowl when the boy acts up, even though frowning makes him gray inside. They live in that straight-line house because it’s near the best schools. He’ll never fly away now.
You and your brother summed up my feelings about children perfectly. My parents are always horrified when I tell them I don’t want any kids, and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying that I don’t want to end up like them. =/
Glad we’re not alone. It’s hard to talk to parents about this, because it does tend to come across as a judgement. But we have to make our own choices, and what was right for them might not be so good for us. We’ve come to a sort of truce now, where I don’t talk about how I don’t want kids and they don’t try to pressure me to change my mind.
Very interesting perspective and story-telling based on the DP picture. And, I love the (second) picture you use to emphasize your point.
P.S. Love the phrase, “Boom, your nice body goes soft in the wrong places” …..so true!
I have kids and find them a source of joy however, that said, I am not going to try to persuade you to change your mind. We are all different and need to make our own choices. If you don’t want kids, the smart choice is not to have them.
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Good One
How sad. I was a child, once. And have a child now. The weight is society. Children are hope and love.
I do like your style, though. Can’t even tell if that’s you or a fiction.
Congrats of FP!
Children can be wonderful. And that was probably the best time of my life. But I’m just not sure it’s the best choice for everyone, especially me. Thanks for commenting!
ha ha few days back I was thinking that how I have ruined my dad’s life. He often says that how fun it is to have a Bachelor lifestyle and how much he wishes to have one. But kids are cute aren’t they?
Haha, kids are adorable! I agree. And I think most people who have kids end up LOVING them and not regretting it at all. But I wouldn’t want to have kids and then discover I didn’t really want them after all. The return policy on those things sucks!
My family has seven kids, me being the third oldest…little do they know I will not be having as many children as they would like! haha 3 is just fine for me. Great post, congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
Thanks! Yeah, both of my parents came from huge families… but by the time they met they were too old to have a lot of kids. I kind of feel badly about not continuing the line…
You tell them bro!! I totally feel you (and I am a woman). I don’t want children either. And none of my family or friends seems to understand why. They all say, wait a few years, and you will change my mind. Am almost 30, and if anything, the idea of not having children is getting stronger and stronger. Peace! x
Thanks Elemi! I too am getting tired of hearing about how “one day” I’ll want children. It seems like people think it’s normal for men to not want kids, but it’s different for women.